"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way." Psalms 37:23
If you know me to any extent, you know how introverted and shy I am. I can know someone for a year and still over think every word that I want to say to them even if it is just "hello." Struggling with social anxiety is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's different for everyone, but for me it's prevalent when I am in places with a lot of people. Just to be completely open, my first thought is that no one where I am loves, cares, or much less deems me worthy of anything. I struggle with this every day. It takes a lot out of me to just say hello to friends I pass on the side walk or go to events on campus. It feels like I'm constantly pushing myself to do things my body physically refuses to do.
I constantly have to renew my mind. I have to always remind myself that I am created in God's image. There is nothing wrong with me and my life has worth. I push myself to be more social. I push myself to go to events because I am not called to let my anxiety control me. My anxiety is not me. God has shown me recently that my steps are not in vain. If you know any of my close friends, they'll tell you that my new saying is "the steps of a righteous man are ordered." I say it at least once a day. Anxiety acting up? The steps of a righteous man are ordered. Feel out of place? The steps of a righteous man are ordered.
I type all of this to say that my steps are not the only steps that are ordered. Your steps are ordered. Your family's steps are ordered. Your children's steps are ordered. It may seem like worry and anxiety are taking over your life, but take a deep breath and grasp the peace that the Lord gives us freely because your steps are ordered and your life is not in vain. Your life has worth. Your calling has worth. Your worth is not found in the people in this world, so we have to stop comparing our personalities, our callings and our struggles with other people because we do not have any control over what other people are called to do or how God has ordered their life. We need to take joy and find peace in the knowledge that when we feel like our life is just going through the motions or when life is chaotic and it seems like it is going to over run us, our life is ordered by the God who told the oceans where to stop and told the sun when to rise and set. So when you feel like your life has no meaning and that you are out of place, look where you are planted and know that you are there for a reason. Your life has brought you to this moment, what are you going to do with it?
