So, This One Time In Vienna. . .

If you have been following me on social media, you know that I have been in Germany, Switzerland, and Austria for the past two weeks. I had an incredible time! I would love to tell you all my stories and experiences while I was there, so feel free to ask about them, but in this post I want to focus on one experience that was stressful, awkward, and incredibly eye opening.

It was our last night in Vienna. Actually, it was our last night in a country other than America. We had to get up at 2:45 the next morning, so we decided that instead of sleeping, we would go to the amusement park that we had gone to every night we had been in Vienna. Who needs sleep when there are roller coasters, right? The group of people I was with and I rode the underground (which is a lot easier to understand than the New York subway) to the amusement park. I was so excited! Honestly, if I had all the money in the world, I could stay in an amusement park for the rest of my life and be completely content.

We were all joking and walking around trying to figure out what ride we were going to ride first. We decided to ride the indoor roller coaster. A friend and I had rode it before and had been raving for about a day about how creepy the walk up to the coaster was and how incredible the ride was. So, we all paid our four euros and fifty cents and started our walk to the coaster. Now, to actually get to the ride, you have to find your way through a mirror maze and get through a room of lasers. The whole thing made me feel like Kim Possible. There were lasers, purple strobe lights, a little fog, and this Austrian recording talking about our mission we had to complete. I loved it! We had made it through the mirror maze and were making our way through the lasers. My friends were quickly jumping over the lasers and I figured I would jump too, completely forgetting that I am the clumsiest person God has ever created and also forgetting that I didn't change out of my dress sandals from dinner. I jumped over two lasers and was completely fine, but then I went to jump over a third laser and my lack of coordination got the best of me. I landed on the side of my foot and twisted my ankle pretty badly. I kept trying to get up, but I couldn't get myself off of the ground. So, here I am, injured on the floor of a room of lasers, strobe lights, fog, and to top it all off, I'm not even in my home country. My friends  started helping me up and getting out of the room. After a few people rode the coaster, they helped me get outside.

Now, I'm not a person who likes attention. When I'm the center of attention, I usually try to divert the situation to something else. You can imagine the anxiety I felt when we got outside and I see most of the people from our trip standing outside and looking at me as I limped like a injured dog out of the building. I sat down on the stairs and a friend started wrapping my foot. I remember people trying to make plans to get me back to the hotel (which was on the other side of Vienna) and I was thinking, "just wrap my foot and I can go have fun." I wanted to suffer through the pain and stay at the park so everyone, including myself, could still have fun on our last night in Europe. Obviously, I wasn't allowed to do that. The boys on our trip gave me piggy back rides across the city and on the underground until we got back to our hotel.

My initial thought during everything that happened was that I hated it. I hated that everyone went back to the hotel because of me. I hated being the center of attention. I wanted everyone to go have their own fun and I was going to take care of myself. It finally hit me that was the most unChrist like way I could be thinking. I learned a few things during this moment.

1. As much as we want to do everything on our own, we can't.  I wanted to take care of myself and stay at the park. By golly, it was my last night in Europe and I was going to do what I want to do, but my friends knew better. They were thinking clearly when I wasn't, and weren't going to let me be stupid. Sometimes, we have to lean on other people, or in my case, ride on their backs, because we can't do everything on our own.

2. Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry one another's burdens and carrying one another's burdens has absolutely nothing to do with sympathy. Can you imagine what would have happen if my friends would have just been like, "wow. I'm so sorry. I hope you can figure something out." It would have been interesting seeing me limp across Vienna or riding rides that could have injured me more. Carrying each others burdens means trying to understand one another, putting ourselves in someone else's shoes, or literally carrying a person.

3. This completely random group of people I met 18 days ago has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Their encouragement that night was overwhelming. Their ability to make be laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe while I was in tons of pain was one of my favorite moments on the trip. It was one of those rare times that I truly saw God shine through other people.

So, as I sit here in West Virginia with ice covering the bruises on my ankle and foot, I can't help but think how completely grateful I am for that awkward and embarrassing moment in Vienna. I am so thankful for the people God put in my life these past two weeks and I hope our friendships last a life time. I don't think I would have enjoyed Europe as much as I did if it wasn't for the people that surrounded me.

To The Man I'll Spend My Life With

I don't know who you are. I don't know where you are. I don't know if we have met yet and I don't know when our life together will begin, but I have a lot of hopes for you while you live your live without me.

I hope you grow where you are planted. I hope you're not aimlessly walking through life waiting for the next thing, the next step, or what society says you have to do next in life. I hope you slow down and look around you. Take in the relationships you are blessed with. Say I love you to your family one too many times. Take the opportunities placed in front of you. Take chances. Thriving where you are is a necessity for the legacy that I know you will leave.

I hope you're a dreamer. I hope you're reaching for the stars. I hope you have a dream that fills you with excitement. I hope you're taking this dream that God has given you and running with it.

I hope women's expectations of who you should be are not tearing you apart. I would be lying if I said I didn't have expectations of who you are, but if my expectation of you is you being perfect then that is absolutely absurd. This world comes with struggles for you and I both. As much as I hope you will walk with me through my imperfections, I will walk with you through yours. I understand that being like Christ doesn't mean you are Christ. I hope you know that not being perfect is a part of being human.

Most of all, I hope you love your heavenly father more than you will ever love me. His plans for your life are greater than the plans we have. I hope you are looking for His guidance in the steps that you take. I hope you are looking for His go ahead in the chances and opportunities placed in front of you.
Have His joy, without me. Have His peace, without me. Have happiness, without me. I hope you have all of this without me because our fulfillment in life does not come from other people. Find your foundation in Him first and our life together will be greater than we can even imagine.

Live Life Red

"And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

It's Valentine's Day today. As I sit on my couch, I have started thinking of the meaning of today. As a single person, last week I thought today was just going to be a reminder of how "lonely" I am. In actuality, it was the complete opposite.

This week has been really hard for my apartment. We lost two precious family members. Both losses were tragic and close to home. We are all trying to be there for one another and for one another's families. Through this, I've noticed how many people I take for granted everyday. My family that I push aside because I'm a college kid and I'm too "busy" talk. My friends that I walk passed everyday and say nothing because I have to get to class.

I've started seeing what true love is. True love isn't flowers or chocolate. It isn't lengthly Facebook posts about how blessed you are to have a certain human being. Those are all aspects of love, but true love is tough. It's dragging yourself through the mud for someone. It's persistence. It's bleeding for someone else. It's saying I love you because it's genuine, not because you have to.

The reason love is the greatest is because it's the most noticeable. True, genuine love has to be noticed. It grabs attention. Love latches on and doesn't let go. Love draws people in. That's why I think love is portrayed as the color red. Red is fierce and bright and....noticeable. Think of when a girl wears red or wears red lipstick (aka me. I always wear red lipstick.). It's so noticeable! It's the first thing peoples' eyes are drawn to when they look at her because red is so vibrant. Red gets so much attention, but it's not like the person wearing it says, "hey! Look at all of this red." Red naturally gets attention. It's kind of like when you notice a person's love isn't genuine. You aren't drawn to them. You try to stay away from them, but you're drawn to people who genuinely show love.

Though this week has been so tough for me and close friends, it has taught me to be more grateful. I'm so thankful for my family. My parents are so important to me. I'm so glad that they love me the way that they do. My sister is my absolute best friend and I don't know what I would do without her. I love my apartment mates, Whitney, Tess, and Hannah. Their friendships mean the world to me. I'm so glad the Lord has blessed me with them. I love my best friend, Mahima. I never knew working in the Conn Center on Tuesdays and Thursdays would bring me one of the most incredible people I have ever met.

I really don't know how to end this post. I don't know whether to command you to be the color red or just tell you how grateful that I am that you are apart of my life. Either way, I hope you know how much you are truly loved and cherished because the Lord loves you and His love for you is red.

To The Place That Made Me

To Hillcrest Christian School,

I do not know if you will ever know the impact you had on my life. I'm not sure if I ever portrayed how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to walk your halls. I've never forgotten the friends that I made or the teachers that I had. All that I can say right now is thank you.

Thank you, lunch staff. Thank you for the constant work you performed. Thank you for the days you let me have food even when I did not have enough money to pay for it.

Thank you, janitors. Thank you for keeping our school clean and doing your job with a smile.

Thank you, fellow students. Though not all of us got along and some of us have lost contact, you all were apart of some of the best years of my teenage life. The memories of homecoming parades, pageants, and even stressing over research papers together are memories that I will always cherish.

Thank you, teachers. If I were to name you all by name, this blog would be too long to read. Thank you for being excited about your job. Thank you for investing in me when I did not want to invest in myself. You all pushed me and prepared me for moments in my life I did not know I was going to have to be prepared for. Thank you for helping me develop my passion for history and for people. I get to go to Germany this summer to see places we talked about in class. I wouldn't have this opportunity if it wasn't for you all. Most of all, thank you for keeping in touch. Thank you for being friends after being my teachers. It's a rarity when you have faculty wanting to invest in your life even after high school.

Thank you, coaches. If I were to be completely honest, I hated basketball practices. I hated running. I hated the pressure of the game, because I never felt like I was going to be good enough. Thank you for teaching me that endurance is a key part of life and that being "good enough" doesn't matter as long as I do my best. Thank you for teaching me that sometimes I have to get up, dust myself off, and keep moving regardless of the circumstances that surround me.

Thank you, Dr. Prather. You always pushed me to be the best that I can be. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my testimony with my fellow classmates. Thank you for not only being a headmaster, but for being a person every student knew that they could turn to if life got hard. You rock, DP.

I do not know if all of my grammar is correct in this blog. I'm sure it'll be corrected, but as I sit in the library of Lee University almost in tears, I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Hillcrest Christian School. I am a 21 year old that has the confidence to say I know what I want to do with my life. This is because of how HCS has molded me.
Thank you, Hillcrest.

Sincerely,
A Future School Counselor

Vulnerable

Walls.

Codes.

Locked doors.

That's what people are. We are personified vaults. Inside, we store our valuables. Our dreams. Our stories. Our desires. We have everything we are and everything we hope to be locked up. These things are necessary for building relationships with others. We have to show people the real us, but it's so scary. We are afraid of being vulnerable.

Why does vulnerability have a negative connotation? When we hear the word vulnerable, we automatically think weak. The ability to be hurt is the only thing that consumes our minds. One would figure that would be a correct way of thinking. According to Webster's, the definition of vulnerable is "easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally." That's really intimidating to me. Think about it. It's like saying, "Here I am. You can hurt me now." That is the most terrifying thought in the world, but we have to be that way.

I found another definition of vulnerable that says "appearing as you are." We have to be ourselves. We have to stop acting like we are put together and perfect. I'm definitely not perfect and neither is anyone else on the earth. The key to opening up a person's vault is to be as you are. We must be vulnerable with others. To really get to know others and for others to really get to know us, we have to have the courage to be open for injury. We have to let friends know our deepest desires and fears. They have to know who we are, even with the possibility of being hurt. We have to say, "Here I am. You can hurt me now, but I care too much for you to show you anyone different."

Is that not what Christ portrayed while on earth? Vulnerability? He showed who He really was knowing He would be rejected by some. Some rejected Him so much that they put Him on a cross. He knew the danger of being open, but He did it any way. He cared too much for us to be pious. He is the example of who we need to be.

We have to be open vaults.

Here's To You, 2015

Am I the only one that can not believe that 2015 will be over at midnight? What a year it has been! I've seen so many reminiscing social media posts about this past year and it fills me with joy to see what my friends have accomplished. One theme that seems to be prominent in these posts is growth. I started thinking back on my year and I realized that 2015 was definitely a year of growth and change for me.

I had many times where I felt like I was looking at the sky from a deep valley. I lost some friends. I had nights where I would sit behind the School of Religion and cry. I had times where I didn't know who I was. I had times where I didn't know if life was worth it and I had many times where I felt lost. This all sounds pretty down hearted for the new year, but these times happen for everyone. Along with these moments though, I had moments where I felt like I could conquer the world.

These times were when I successfully finished all ten seasons of Friends on Netflix and developed a love for Chandler and Monica's relationship like you all can not believe. I made wonderful new friends who bring so much joy in my life. I started this blog. I learned my passion. I became apart of the Say Something leadership family where I developed my passion to help people with mental illnesses along with people who are just hurting. I learned that I am broken, but everyone else is also broken in some way. I realized that sometimes it's okay to say no and I learned how to stick up for myself. I learned who I am as a human being.

Looking back at 2015, I realize that we all have highs and we all have lows and the Lord is with us through all of it. Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

So here's to you, 2015. You had some highs and you had some lows, but I count it all joy because boy, I sure did learn a lot. 2016, I am so excited for the moments that you will bring me.

Happy New Years, Readers. I hope it's full of growth, joy, and laughter. Remember that the Lord is with you.

A Letter To The Class That Proved Me Wrong

Dear Friends,

I can remember our first class period like it was yesterday. That's only because I had panicked for at least an hour before class. I knew how this class was going to go. Regardless of the fact that I went out of my comfort zone and took an acting class, knowing it would require me to be outgoing, I knew I was going to be the one... The one person that wasn't going to do something right. The one person that would make things awkward.

As class started, my worst fears were confirmed. We actually had to meet each other. We had to go up to each person and introduce ourselves and talk about our lives. My anxiety kicked in. All I wanted to do was leave and leave quickly, but I participated. I told the same thing to every person, "My name is Brook. My parents live in West Virginia. I like Georgia Football." Anytime the conversation got longer than that, I would be thrown off guard because I wasn't used to it. I wasn't used to walking into a class and actually having to get to know people. I'm used to walking in, being invisible, taking notes, and leaving. That's what I wanted to happen that day. I didn't want anyone to know me, because I knew they would find something wrong.

As the semester continued, we became closer and I began to realize that with y'all, I can be myself. We laughed together. We cried together. Most days we were just plain crazy with each other and I felt like I was with family through every minute of it. So as the semester comes to an end, I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for proving me wrong and letting me know that I'm not a black sheep.

Thank you for making me build trust and for being trusting of me.

Thank you for making me feel safe.

Thank you for listening to my story.

Thank you for letting me know that's it okay to be awkward, but that I don't have to be awkward.

Thank you for proving to me that it's okay to be myself again.

Thank you for giving me the courage to start auditioning after I had promised myself I would never audition for anything else again.

Thank you for showing me what true community is.

Thank you for making this class something I looked forward to every Tuesday and Thursday.

This semester with you all has meant the world to me. Not only have I become a better actor, but I have become a better person. This is because of you all being yourselves. It is unlikely that we will have classes together again, but I have grown to truly love each one of you. As Thursday rolls around and we do our finals scenes and say goodbye (I'll get emotional. You can count on it.), I want you to remember this quote from the book Matched:

"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that."

Sincerely,
The girl all in her feels on her recliner