Let me start by saying, I blame my past view of what I wanted love to be on Disney princess movies because let's face it, their love lives are perfect! I love Disney princesses more than a normal 20 year old should and because of that, I believed any guy I liked would automatically be my knight in shining armor. I just knew they would send me love letters and pursue me and make my 12 year old life better than every other 12 year olds life, but when that didn't happen, I took it into my own hands, unfortunately.
My first story starts when I was in the 6th grade. Everyone knows you find your one true love in the 6th grade or at least I would and make everyone jealous. There was one guy that caught my attention. It wasn't his personality that caught my attention. It was his looks because that's what is important to a preteen. He was also a year older than me so, y'all know, he was a super sophisticated 7th grader. Well, I, being the awkward human being that I am, had no idea how to talk to him. I would just stare thinking I was flirting with my eyes, but probably looking more like Mr. Bean. One day, I decided to do something about it. I wrote him a letter and professed my undying like for him, but I didn't know where his locker was. So, I had the brilliant idea to give it to one of his friends (Do not try this at home). Obviously, after that, basically the whole school knew about my crush. Did we ever date? mmmmm negatory. My stalker status was too high.
One would think I would have learned my lesson. I did learn about hand written letters, but then social media was created and it was all down hill from there. I have typed 3 love letters over Facebook to guys I barely talked to. Yes, love letters. I professed my love for them. Some of them started with the statement, "God wanted me to tell you that..." Did God want me to tell them that I "loved" them? Probably not. I thought they were good looking and throwing God into the equation would help. It didn't, but don't worry readers, I have repented of my awkward God using days.
If you would like more details about these stories, my email is at the top of the screen or I probably know you in which contact me on social media. As I think about these awkward stories, it makes me wonder that are we all not hopeless, awkward, and desperate for love? Everyone wants to be loved. We all want someone to want us enough to write love letters or play sports with or make something for us. Some of us fail to realize that we already have that. God pursues us everyday. His blessings are endless. Imagine God being that awkward middle schooler and coming up to you and saying, "Hey, I don't know where your locker is, but I made this really cool flower for you." "Hey *insert your name*, come outside! I made it snow so I can show you my love." The major thing that he did was that he sent his son to die for us just so we can live with him in eternity. WHO DOES THAT? His love is unfathomable.
I am still waiting for my knight to write me love letters and sweep me off my feet (applications are being accepted), but as I wait, I am not alone. Even if the day never comes that I get married, I know that Jesus is the one that sustains me, as he does for everyone else.
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