Your Face Scares Me

Honestly, it does, but it's not because you are ugly. You're so beautiful/handsome! (#genderequality) Talking to people, though? That's a whole different story. Actually getting up the guts to talk to someone is probably the greatest effort I have to make. Ask me to ride a roller coaster that goes 80 miles per hour with 6 loops and no seatbelt? I'd do it in a heartbeat. Ask me to talk to someone? I'll have a panic attack and stand as far away from anyone as possible. Weird fear. I know. Well, that social fear roared it's ugly head again tonight.

At the school I attend, I am usher which is like a super social job if you can imagine. I always have this get up and go before work. "I will talk to people. I will be funny. I will make friends." Pretty inspiring, huh? Then I get to work and my get up and go has got up and gone and my mindset is "here, let me sit in the corner and not talk." The reason I don't talk isn't because I don't want to. It's because I don't want to disappoint or for someone to think I'm weird. It's a major problem. When that happened again tonight, I was so frustrated! I had just had an amazing weekend with God! I want to talk to people about it. I want to be outgoing, but I'm not. I was holding in my frustration and throwing a little pity party in my head all before service, but as worship started, God reminded me of verses Perry Stone read at WarriorFest this weekend. The verses are Jeremiah 1: 8-9. It states, "Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee saith the Lord. Then the Lord put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth."

It is then when it occurred to me, why should I be scared? Has God not called me to be to more than a girl with social anxiety? Has God not called you to be someone more than who you think you are? We, as people, think we know our limits. I can't talk to anyone, but has God not called me to more? You might not be able to make eye contact, but has God not called you to more? You may stutter, but has God not called you to more? Has God not called you to be more than the athlete, the pastor's kid, the freshman, or the high school drop out? If we start looking past what we think our limits are, what more can we accomplish? We shouldn't let what limits we think we have define us. God has called us to be more.